Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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