I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
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