Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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