I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
FUCK WHALES
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize