first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
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what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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