i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
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woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
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I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Dear god my vagina.
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