a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a blender
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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