In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
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I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
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