so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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