Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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