i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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