My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
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Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It's blow job season.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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