We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
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getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
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Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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