I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
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