Michael Bay diarrhea
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
In other news, I just burned my penis
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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