You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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