just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
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Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
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You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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