I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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