i can't believe i had my finger in that
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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