In America we eat man semen.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
A bitchslap is in order.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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