I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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