i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize