K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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