Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize