im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize