Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
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He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
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Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
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