So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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