i think i have two assholes
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
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for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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