I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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