I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize