Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize