i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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