Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I want to make a zoo with you.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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