My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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