I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize