I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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