A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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