Kiss
Puke
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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