I just made out with a guy for $7.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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