when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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