You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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