you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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