theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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