I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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