yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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