I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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