i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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