You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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