And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
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I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
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At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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