I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize